Back in 2017/2018, as my identity panromantic, asexual, polyamorous, transwoman was coming into focus I was struggling with the traditional labels of romantic or sexual relationships. They felt too constrained, too tied to gender and expectations of monogamy and societal norms that didn't align with my own experiences and emotions. Truth be told, way back in 2009 I'd spoken with brother about this exploration of what love means, how it's defined, the different ways it shows up in life, and the words we use for it. I wasn't out back then. Not as a transwoman, not even as the queer person I so clearly am.
But nearly 10 years later, I that longing for a term that could capture the depth and significance of the relationships and people I hold dear, something that would allow me to express my love and affection without the limitations of gender or preconceived notions of what a relationship should look like was more pressing than ever. While there are other words out there, I couldn't find one that really felt like it captured my experience or feelings well. I know most of you don't hear me use it very often, but I ended up creating my own word, one that really spoke to the essence of what the people of my heart meant to me.
And so, 'Pomh' was born, derived from that phrase, 'person of my heart.' For me, this term represents the profound emotional bond I share with certain individuals, a connection that transcends the boundaries of traditional relationships. It's a way for me to honor and celebrate the unique nature of these connections, to acknowledge that love and affection can take many forms.
pomh
pronunciation: /ˈpɒm-hə/ or /ˈpɑm-hə/
part of speech: noun
Definition: A term of endearment used to refer to a significant other, partner, or loved one, emphasizing emotional connection without the constraints of gender or traditional relationship labels. It is a term particularly suited to those within panromantic, asexual, and polyamorous communities, allowing for a broader expression of affection that transcends monogamous or sexual connotations.
Etymology: Derived from the phrase “person of my heart,” the term reflects a deep emotional bond and is used by individuals seeking to express their feelings in a more inclusive and non-restrictive manner.
Usage:
“I love spending time with my pomh; they always know how to make me smile.”
“As a panromantic asexual, I prefer calling my partners my pomh to celebrate our unique connections.”
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